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Medicine Jokes

# Title Hits Rating
1 What is the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?
- What is the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? The taste....Read the whole joke
590 Rating:0 | Voted:0
2 A large difference
- A man went to the doctor's. The doctor came in and said,"Well, I've got some good news and some bad ...Read the whole joke
623 Rating:0 | Voted:0
3 There was a costume party at a mental hospital...
- There was a costume party at a mental hospital; the theme of the party was "war". The first person c...Read the whole joke
615 Rating:0 | Voted:0
4 A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center...
- A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center.Man: "What are you doing here today?"...Read the whole joke
520 Rating:0 | Voted:0
5 A dyslexic nurse
- Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one daycomplaining about Nurse Jenny. "She's incrediblydumb. ...Read the whole joke
594 Rating:0 | Voted:0
6 The medical student was asked four reasons...
- The medical student was asked four reasons why mother'smilk was better for babies than cow's milk. T...Read the whole joke
483 Rating:0 | Voted:0
7 What is red and sticky and crawls up a girls thigh?
- What is red and sticky and crawls up a girls thigh?A home-sick abortion....Read the whole joke
573 Rating:0 | Voted:0
8 What is the worst part about getting a lung transplant?
- What's the worst part about getting a lung transplant?The first couple of times you cough, its not y...Read the whole joke
582 Rating:0 | Voted:0
9 Give me the bad news first...
- "give me the bad news first.""You've got AIDS.""Oh, no! What could be worse than that?""You've also...Read the whole joke
550 Rating:0 | Voted:0
10 What do you call an armless, legless leper in a swimming pool?
- What do you call an armless, legless leper in a swimming pool?Bob...Read the whole joke
519 Rating:0 | Voted:0
11 Two doctors found themselves on the beach in Hawaii...
- Two doctors found themselves on the beach in Hawaii.As a real bevy of bikini-clad females walked by,...Read the whole joke
696 Rating:0 | Voted:0
12 The bad news and the good news
- Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor.The doctor says, "Your wife was in a ...Read the whole joke
639 Rating:0 | Voted:0
13 Gosh, what a pun!
- A man went to his dentist because he feels somethingwrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and...Read the whole joke
521 Rating:0 | Voted:0
14 After a couple of years a couple wanted to have children...
- After a couple of years a couple wanted to have children, but nothing worked.So they went to a docto...Read the whole joke
616 Rating:0 | Voted:0
15 Jones is driving past the state mental hospital...
- Jones is driving past the state mental hospital when his left reartire suffers a flat. While Jones i...Read the whole joke
680 Rating:0 | Voted:0
16 Two gynecologists meet at lunch...
- Two gynecologists meet at lunch.The first one says, "I had a patient this morning witha clit like a ...Read the whole joke
524 Rating:0 | Voted:0
17 An old woman came into her doctors office
- An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassingproblem. "I fart all the ...Read the whole joke
642 Rating:0 | Voted:0
18 The following statements were found on patient charts...
- The following statements were found on patient's charts during a recent review of medical records....Read the whole joke
537 Rating:0 | Voted:0
19 A man walks in to a doctors office...
- A man walks in to a doctors office and says, "Doctor you must help me. I have AIDS." The doctor ...Read the whole joke
586 Rating:0 | Voted:0
20 A woman consulted a doctor...
- A woman consulted a doctor, explaining that for many years she sufferred from excessive flatulan...Read the whole joke
529 Rating:0 | Voted:0
21 Howard had felt guilty all day long...
- Howard had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. ...Read the whole joke
580 Rating:0 | Voted:0
22 A husband and wife are on a nudist beach...
- A husband and wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly awasp buzzes into the wife's business end. Na...Read the whole joke
529 Rating:0 | Voted:0
23 Psychiatric Hotline
- Psychiatric HotlineIf you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.If you are co-dependen...Read the whole joke
486 Rating:0 | Voted:0
24 Proctologists
- Proctologists Of all the professions we fear, one stands out. No, it's not "mortician;" by the...Read the whole joke
590 Rating:0 | Voted:0
25 Oprectomy
- Oprectomy KENMORE HOSPITAL 61 COMMONWEALTH AVE. ...Read the whole joke
659 Rating:0 | Voted:0
26 A Short History of Medicine
- A Short History of MedicineI have an earache...2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.1000 A.D. - That root...Read the whole joke
619 Rating:0 | Voted:0
27 An eye-doctor was having his 40th birthday...
- An eye-doctor was having his 40th birthday, and gathered lotsof friends and family in his house. His...Read the whole joke
449 Rating:0 | Voted:0

# Title Category Hits Rating
1 What do you do if someone's having a seizure in a bathtub?
- What do you do if someone's having a seizure in a bathtub?Throw in a load of laundry....Read the whole joke
Medicine Jokes 1466 Rating:5 | Voted:1
2 Constipation problem
- Old Aunt Dora went to her doctor to see what could be done about her constipation."It's terrible," s...Read the whole joke
Medicine Jokes 1189 Rating:0 | Voted:0
3 This male prostitute contracted syphilis...
- This male prostitute contracted syphilis.He did okay for a while, but then his business dropped off....Read the whole joke
Medicine Jokes 1151 Rating:0 | Voted:0
4 Not a foot
- An extremely drunk man looking for a whorehouse stumblesinto a Podiatrist's office instead and weave...Read the whole joke
Medicine Jokes 1075 Rating:0 | Voted:0
5 Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?
- Q: Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?A: Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for....Read the whole joke
Medicine Jokes 1063 Rating:0 | Voted:0

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