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Ouch Jokes

# Title Hits Rating
1 What's worse than being raped by Jack the Ripper?
- What's worse than being raped by Jack the Ripper?Getting fingered by Captain Hook!...Read the whole joke
549 Rating:0 | Voted:0
2 What did the impatient helicopter say to its clumsy mechanic?
- What did the impatient helicopter say to its clumsy mechanic?"Chop chop."...Read the whole joke
620 Rating:0 | Voted:0
3 Little Mermaid
- Three fellows walking along the beach noticed a mermaid sitting on a rock swishing her tail in the f...Read the whole joke
568 Rating:0 | Voted:0
4 I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with...
- I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.So I said "Implants?"...Read the whole joke
556 Rating:0 | Voted:0
5 A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home...
- A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The...Read the whole joke
620 Rating:0 | Voted:0
6 Think quality
- A lady swallowed a super Gillette razor blade and her doctor discovered that not only had she given ...Read the whole joke
537 Rating:0 | Voted:0
7 What's pink and slowly turns red?
- What's pink and slowly turns red?A baby chewing a razor blade....Read the whole joke
511 Rating:0 | Voted:0
8 A dentis appointment
- Two guys are susposed to meet at 4:30. Charley shows up at4:30 and waits. Finally, at almost 5:00, P...Read the whole joke
530 Rating:0 | Voted:0
9 A young man was staying on a farm with his uncle and aunt...
- A young man was staying on a farm with his uncle and aunt for the summer. One morning the aunt and u...Read the whole joke
496 Rating:0 | Voted:0
10 A big bird
- Once upon a time there was this guy who bought a hang glider and took it out to the mountains to fly...Read the whole joke
506 Rating:0 | Voted:0
11 OUCH!
- OUCH! A couple hobbled into a Washington emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man...Read the whole joke
517 Rating:0 | Voted:0
12 Lorena Bobbitt had just cut off her husband's penis...
- Lorena Bobbitt had just cut off her husband's penis. She was driving down the road, wondering what t...Read the whole joke
500 Rating:0 | Voted:0
13 How did Captain Hook die?
- Q: How did Captain Hook die?A: Jock itch....Read the whole joke
603 Rating:0 | Voted:0
14 St. Peter meets Mother Theresa at the Gates Of Heaven...
- St. Peter meets Mother Theresa at the Gates Of Heaven and says, "You were a good woman. I'm giving y...Read the whole joke
526 Rating:0 | Voted:0
15 A game of golf
- A man walked into the clubhouse and noticed a friend sitting in a corner wearing a neck brace.He sat...Read the whole joke
472 Rating:0 | Voted:0
16 Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years...
- Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years. "So, how's life been for you?" Ed asked."Not too ...Read the whole joke
511 Rating:0 | Voted:0
17 A door-to-door vacuum salesman goes...
- A door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his newterritory. He knocks, a real mean ...Read the whole joke
458 Rating:0 | Voted:0
18 A little girl was walking along a beach in California...
- A little girl was walking along a beach in California whenshe came across a man with no clothes on a...Read the whole joke
560 Rating:0 | Voted:0
19 The third wish
- A young man fell in a pit one day, and found a magic lamp with a genie inside of it. The genie said,...Read the whole joke
464 Rating:0 | Voted:0
20 Ashamed
- Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise shipthat sank in the Bermuda Triang...Read the whole joke
546 Rating:0 | Voted:0
21 It finally dawned
- "How did it happen?" the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he setthe man's broken leg."Well, ...Read the whole joke
468 Rating:0 | Voted:0
22 A supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts...
- A supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a woman I know intended to stock up. At th...Read the whole joke
464 Rating:0 | Voted:0
23 A really bad, terrible mistake
- Fred goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, I want to be castrated." Doc says, "Look, I don't know...Read the whole joke
606 Rating:0 | Voted:0
24 Changed my mind!
- This bloke picks up woman at the local pub. They go for a romanticwalk down the street. They walk ha...Read the whole joke
634 Rating:0 | Voted:0
25 The guy leered at the babe at the yacht-club...
- The guy leered at the babe at the yacht-club. "Hey, baby, would you help me 'raise my mast'?""No th...Read the whole joke
508 Rating:0 | Voted:0
26 I walked up to a really pretty girl at the bar...
- I walked up to a really pretty girl at the bar the other night and said, "Hey, babe, can I buy you a...Read the whole joke
481 Rating:0 | Voted:0
27 A caring son
- It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby hear...Read the whole joke
449 Rating:0 | Voted:0

# Title Category Hits Rating
1 Changed my mind!
- This bloke picks up woman at the local pub. They go for a romanticwalk down the street. They walk ha...Read the whole joke
Ouch Jokes 634 Rating:0 | Voted:0
2 A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home...
- A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The...Read the whole joke
Ouch Jokes 620 Rating:0 | Voted:0
3 What did the impatient helicopter say to its clumsy mechanic?
- What did the impatient helicopter say to its clumsy mechanic?"Chop chop."...Read the whole joke
Ouch Jokes 620 Rating:0 | Voted:0
4 A really bad, terrible mistake
- Fred goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, I want to be castrated." Doc says, "Look, I don't know...Read the whole joke
Ouch Jokes 606 Rating:0 | Voted:0
5 How did Captain Hook die?
- Q: How did Captain Hook die?A: Jock itch....Read the whole joke
Ouch Jokes 603 Rating:0 | Voted:0

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