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Animal Jokes

# Title Hits Rating
1 Installing a Carpet
- |A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to ...Read the whole joke
2418 Rating:0 | Voted:4
2 Horses at the Race
- |A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him...Read the whole joke
1691 Rating:0 | Voted:6
3 Dogs and Light Bulbs
- |How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? Border Collie: Just one. Then I'll replace any w...Read the whole joke
1818 Rating:0 | Voted:3
4 The Feline Diet
- |Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like people. For those us who have never h...Read the whole joke
1663 Rating:0 | Voted:0
5 Giving Cats Pills
- |INSTRUCTIONS FOR GIVING YOUR CAT A PILL 1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm ...Read the whole joke
1775 Rating:0 | Voted:0
6 Sounds of the Wild
- |A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. Mother: "What does the cow sa...Read the whole joke
1748 Rating:0 | Voted:0
7 Ten Signs That You're At A Bad Zoo
- |1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you.2. The Bears exhibit is ...Read the whole joke
1868 Rating:0 | Voted:0
8 Two angry neighbors
- |Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades. Bob buys a Great Dane and teac...Read the whole joke
1885 Rating:0 | Voted:2
9 Cow on train tracks
- |A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conduc...Read the whole joke
1824 Rating:0 | Voted:0
10 Buy alligator shoes
- |A man was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. Howeve...Read the whole joke
1744 Rating:0 | Voted:10
11 Nine things dogs don't understand
- |1. It's not a laugh to practice barking at 3a.m. 2. It's wrong to back Grandma into a corner and gu...Read the whole joke
2339 Rating:0 | Voted:0
12 Your Cat Has Learned Your Internet Password
- |9. E-mail flames from some guy named "Fluffy." 8. Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard. 7. You f...Read the whole joke
1653 Rating:0 | Voted:0
13 Animals Q & A
- |Q: Diner: I can't eat this chicken. Call the manager.A: Waiter: It's no use. He can't eat it either...Read the whole joke
1842 Rating:0 | Voted:10
14 Investigating a terrible accident
- |There was a terrible bus accident. Unfortunately, no one survived the accident except a monkey whic...Read the whole joke
1754 Rating:0 | Voted:0
15 Cat technical support problems
- |This is an actual account by a worker at a technical support and service center. One particular cus...Read the whole joke
1935 Rating:0 | Voted:0
16 This dog is acting bad
- |While waiting for a bus, the blind man's dog decided to go to the bathroom all over the blind man's...Read the whole joke
1650 Rating:0 | Voted:2
17 I think that I'm a chicken
- |Psychiatrist: What's your problem?Patient: I think I'm a chicken.Psychiatrist: How long has this be...Read the whole joke
1766 Rating:0 | Voted:0
18 A dog's chalkboard assignments
- |This list of chalkboard assignments may be used for your dog when he does not behave well. The belo...Read the whole joke
2494 Rating:0 | Voted:0
19 This is one smart dog
- |A butcher is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a dog with a basket in its jaws co...Read the whole joke
1788 Rating:0 | Voted:0
20 Two roaches having a discussion
- |Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaura...Read the whole joke
1789 Rating:0 | Voted:0
21 Instrument flying guide for animal lovers
- |Having detailed the concept of attitude control, there is another method which you may prefer. For ...Read the whole joke
1810 Rating:0 | Voted:0
22 Baby bear wants to live somewhere else
- |The three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Mama and Pa...Read the whole joke
2362 Rating:0 | Voted:0
23 An amazing talking dog
- |A man and his dog walk into a bar. The man proclaims, "I'll bet you a round of drinks that my dog c...Read the whole joke
1665 Rating:0 | Voted:0
24 A burglar is in big trouble
- |A burglar has just made it into the house he's intending ransacking, and he's looking around for st...Read the whole joke
1688 Rating:0 | Voted:0
25 The preacher buys a parrot
- |A preacher is buying a parrot."Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher....Read the whole joke
1886 Rating:0 | Voted:0
26 The cat's chalkboard assignments
- |In order to punish your cat for poor behavior, here are a list of items that the cat may write on a...Read the whole joke
2533 Rating:0 | Voted:0
27 The plumber has arrived
- |A lady was expecting the plumber; he was supposed to come at ten o'clock. Ten o'clock came and went...Read the whole joke
2306 Rating:0 | Voted:0

# Title Category Hits Rating
1 Difference between a cat and a dog...
- A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house...Read the whole joke
Animal Jokes 8398 Rating:127 | Voted:4
2 Vampire Bat
- A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof ...Read the whole joke
Animal Jokes 6680 Rating:4 | Voted:3
3 Dog named Sex
- Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has be...Read the whole joke
Animal Jokes 6066 Rating:4 | Voted:3
4 Ant and Elephant have romance
- An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant ...Read the whole joke
Animal Jokes 5714 Rating:2 | Voted:1
5 rabbits chased by wolf
- Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves. The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket. Aft...Read the whole joke
Animal Jokes 5600 Rating:0 | Voted:0

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