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Doctor Jokes

# Title Hits Rating
1 I often feel guilty
- |Sheri, the pert and pretty nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where...Read the whole joke
1301 Rating:0 | Voted:0
2 Better relationship
- |A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't...Read the whole joke
1231 Rating:0 | Voted:0
3 Doctors meeting
- |A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them decided to leave, and walked out...Read the whole joke
1153 Rating:0 | Voted:10
4 Promoting an office
- |A psychotherapist was having a roaring business since he started from scratch. So much so that he c...Read the whole joke
1143 Rating:0 | Voted:0
5 Scared sleeping
- |Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I thin...Read the whole joke
1169 Rating:0 | Voted:0
6 Crazy people talk
- |A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He fou...Read the whole joke
1141 Rating:0 | Voted:3
7 Solving a problem
- |A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a t...Read the whole joke
1205 Rating:0 | Voted:0
8 How much for all night?
- |The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor as...Read the whole joke
1091 Rating:0 | Voted:0
9 Loud, mad, or sad
- |The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test....Read the whole joke
1237 Rating:0 | Voted:0
10 Low self-esteem
- |A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist.H...Read the whole joke
1191 Rating:0 | Voted:0
11 Trouble sleeping
- |The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor as...Read the whole joke
1168 Rating:0 | Voted:0
12 Get me an ambulence now
- |A man, after being hurt, calls 911 for help.Man: Operator, operator, call me an ambulance!Operator:...Read the whole joke
1220 Rating:0 | Voted:0
13 Put me into a fighting mood
- |Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Di...Read the whole joke
1146 Rating:0 | Voted:0
14 I think I need a pair of glasses
- |Patient: Doctor, I think I need glasses.Teller: You certainly do! This is a bank....Read the whole joke
1169 Rating:0 | Voted:0
15 I would like to havea second opinion
- |A patient has a sore throat and goes to a doctor to get treatment for it.Doctor: Your tonsils gotta...Read the whole joke
1314 Rating:0 | Voted:0
16 Doctor, should I file my nails?
- |Patient: Doctor, should I file my nails?Doctor: No! Throw them away like everybody else....Read the whole joke
2242 Rating:0 | Voted:0
17 Problems remembering
- |Patient: Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can't remember anything!Doctor: So, since when ...Read the whole joke
1234 Rating:0 | Voted:0
18 The Code of Ethical Behavior for Patients
- |1. Do not expect your doctor to share your discomfort.Involvement with the patient's suffering migh...Read the whole joke
1146 Rating:0 | Voted:0
19 Driving exams worry me
- |Liz: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests!Doctor: Don't worry about it. You'll pass...Read the whole joke
1125 Rating:0 | Voted:0
20 You're in great health
- |Doctor: You're in good health. You'll live to be eighty.Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now.Doc...Read the whole joke
1290 Rating:0 | Voted:0
21 What is your problem?
- |Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can he...Read the whole joke
1106 Rating:0 | Voted:0
22 Patient: My hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in?
- |Patient: My hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in?Doctor: A shoebox....Read the whole joke
1188 Rating:0 | Voted:0
23 Does it hurt when you do this?
- |Doctor: Does it hurt when you do this?Patient: Yes.Doctor: Well, don't do that....Read the whole joke
1138 Rating:0 | Voted:0
24 We are the best of friends
- |The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I wou...Read the whole joke
1148 Rating:0 | Voted:0
25 I'm gaining weight doctor
- |Trish: My stomach is getting awfully big, doctor.Doctor: You should diet.Trish: Really? What color?...Read the whole joke
1125 Rating:0 | Voted:0
26 My wife is beating me
- |David: My wife beats me, doctor.Doctor: Oh dear. How often?David: Every time we play Scrabble!...Read the whole joke
1165 Rating:0 | Voted:0
27 The bad and the worse news
- |A man visits the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes in with a grave look ...Read the whole joke
1119 Rating:0 | Voted:0

# Title Category Hits Rating
1 Doctor, should I file my nails?
- |Patient: Doctor, should I file my nails?Doctor: No! Throw them away like everybody else....Read the whole joke
Doctor Jokes 2242 Rating:0 | Voted:0
2 I would like to havea second opinion
- |A patient has a sore throat and goes to a doctor to get treatment for it.Doctor: Your tonsils gotta...Read the whole joke
Doctor Jokes 1314 Rating:0 | Voted:0
3 I often feel guilty
- |Sheri, the pert and pretty nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where...Read the whole joke
Doctor Jokes 1301 Rating:0 | Voted:0
4 You're in great health
- |Doctor: You're in good health. You'll live to be eighty.Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now.Doc...Read the whole joke
Doctor Jokes 1290 Rating:0 | Voted:0
5 Will this operation hurt me at all?
- |Patient (to cosmetic surgeon): Will it hurt me, doctor?Surgeon: Only when you get my bill, Mrs Brow...Read the whole joke
Doctor Jokes 1286 Rating:0 | Voted:0

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