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Doctor Jokes

# Title Hits Rating
1 My son swallowed the can opener
- |Mrs. Smith: Help me, doctor! My son, John, swallowed the can opener!Doctor: Don't panic. He'll be a...Read the whole joke
671 Rating:0 | Voted:0
2 Did you ever have this before?
- |Doctor: Have you ever had this before?Patient: Yes.Doctor: Well, you've got it again!...Read the whole joke
522 Rating:0 | Voted:0
3 I've got good and bad
- |I've got good and badThis old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor te...Read the whole joke
556 Rating:0 | Voted:0
4 We need to help these people
- |A doctor and a nurse were called to the scene of an accident.Doctor: We need to get these people to...Read the whole joke
517 Rating:0 | Voted:0
5 Did you take the patient's temperature?
- |Doctor: Did you take the patient's temperature?Nurse: No. Is it missing?...Read the whole joke
517 Rating:0 | Voted:0
6 I have bad and very bad news
- |Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad ne...Read the whole joke
623 Rating:0 | Voted:0
7 Do you have a solution?
- |A patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth.Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, wh...Read the whole joke
634 Rating:0 | Voted:0
8 Preventive medicine belief
- |Mary: My daughter believes in preventative medicine, doctor.Doctor: Oh, really?Mary: Yes, she tries...Read the whole joke
640 Rating:0 | Voted:0
9 Get a heart transplant
- |A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower b...Read the whole joke
610 Rating:0 | Voted:0
10 A very interesting fact
- |Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 1,000 bones in the human body?Larry: Shhh, doctor! Th...Read the whole joke
565 Rating:0 | Voted:0
11 Will this operation hurt me at all?
- |Patient (to cosmetic surgeon): Will it hurt me, doctor?Surgeon: Only when you get my bill, Mrs Brow...Read the whole joke
1185 Rating:0 | Voted:0
12 The results of the X-ray
- |Patient: Doctor, what does the X-ray of my head show?Doctor: Absolutely nothing!...Read the whole joke
526 Rating:0 | Voted:0
13 A man with a glass eye is here to see you
- |Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named Brown.Doctor: What does he...Read the whole joke
641 Rating:0 | Voted:0
14 Can I play the piano once these are off?
- |A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to bo...Read the whole joke
596 Rating:0 | Voted:0
15 A doctor is complaining to a mechanic
- |A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid fo...Read the whole joke
569 Rating:0 | Voted:0
16 I want to lose some weight
- |A man, seeking to lose some of his excess weight, visited the local doctor.John: How can I lose twe...Read the whole joke
598 Rating:0 | Voted:0
17 People are ignoring me
- |A patient walks into a doctor's office.Patient: Doctor, people ignore me.Doctor: Next!...Read the whole joke
518 Rating:0 | Voted:0
18 Will I live any longer?
- |Patient: Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer?Doctor: Not really. It will...Read the whole joke
666 Rating:0 | Voted:0
19 Bad temper problem
- |Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with peo...Read the whole joke
554 Rating:0 | Voted:0
20 An invisible man is here to see you
- |Nurse: Doctor, there is an invisible man in your waiting room.Doctor: Tell him I can't see him now....Read the whole joke
533 Rating:0 | Voted:0
21 I can't find the cause of your pain
- |As the doctor completed an examination of the patient, he said, "I can't find a cause for your comp...Read the whole joke
543 Rating:0 | Voted:0
22 Would you please do me a favor?
- |A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging.Dentist: Could you help me? Coul...Read the whole joke
559 Rating:0 | Voted:0
23 Letters from charities
- |I am always getting those return address labels from charities wanting money.The other day, I got o...Read the whole joke
612 Rating:0 | Voted:0
24 Doctor! I swallowed a pillow!
- |Patient: Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow.Doctor: How do you feel?Patient: A little down in the...Read the whole joke
528 Rating:0 | Voted:0
25 How much will this cost me?
- |Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?Dentist: $100.00.Patient: $100.00 for just a few minute...Read the whole joke
651 Rating:0 | Voted:0
26 The prison hospital
- |Prisoner: Look here, doctor! You've already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kid...Read the whole joke
708 Rating:0 | Voted:0
27 Benefits of having Alzheimer's disease
- |5. You never have to watch reruns on television.4. You are always meeting new people.3. You don't h...Read the whole joke
677 Rating:0 | Voted:0

# Title Category Hits Rating
1 Doctor, should I file my nails?
- |Patient: Doctor, should I file my nails?Doctor: No! Throw them away like everybody else....Read the whole joke
Doctor Jokes 2091 Rating:0 | Voted:0
2 I would like to havea second opinion
- |A patient has a sore throat and goes to a doctor to get treatment for it.Doctor: Your tonsils gotta...Read the whole joke
Doctor Jokes 1212 Rating:0 | Voted:0
3 I often feel guilty
- |Sheri, the pert and pretty nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where...Read the whole joke
Doctor Jokes 1195 Rating:0 | Voted:0
4 Will this operation hurt me at all?
- |Patient (to cosmetic surgeon): Will it hurt me, doctor?Surgeon: Only when you get my bill, Mrs Brow...Read the whole joke
Doctor Jokes 1185 Rating:0 | Voted:0
5 You're in great health
- |Doctor: You're in good health. You'll live to be eighty.Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now.Doc...Read the whole joke
Doctor Jokes 1183 Rating:0 | Voted:0

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