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Bar Jokes

# Title Hits Rating
1 A brain goes to a local bar
- |A brain walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a pint of beer please."The barman looks at him and sa...Read the whole joke
462 Rating:0 | Voted:0
2 I don't owe anything for this drink
- |The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What'll you have?" The guy answers, "A scotch, plea...Read the whole joke
415 Rating:0 | Voted:0
3 I am afraid of that tarmac
- |A motorway walks into a pub one day. He goes up to the bar and orders himself a drink. He just sits...Read the whole joke
380 Rating:0 | Voted:0
4 A golf club visits a local bar
- |A golf club walks into a local bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.The barman refuses to ser...Read the whole joke
324 Rating:0 | Voted:0
5 Does your dog bite?
- |A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?""No...Read the whole joke
275 Rating:0 | Voted:0
6 Three vampires go to a bar
- |Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The waitress comes over and asks the first ...Read the whole joke
342 Rating:0 | Voted:0
7 Where is this bus going?
- |A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly wo...Read the whole joke
330 Rating:0 | Voted:0
8 A very depressed man
- |There's a man sitting at a bar just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then...Read the whole joke
272 Rating:0 | Voted:0
9 Female hormones in beer
- |Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormo...Read the whole joke
307 Rating:0 | Voted:6
10 A man takes the ferry home from work
- |John Smith lived in Staten Island, New York and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferryboat h...Read the whole joke
429 Rating:0 | Voted:0
11 A seal visits a local bar
- |A seal walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.The bartender asks the seal, "What's you...Read the whole joke
433 Rating:0 | Voted:0
12 They are stopped by the police
- |John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the poli...Read the whole joke
303 Rating:0 | Voted:0
13 I'm just trying to be helpful
- |A good samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk. Want...Read the whole joke
372 Rating:0 | Voted:0
14 The story of a very short man
- |A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots." Bartender says, "You want them bot...Read the whole joke
375 Rating:0 | Voted:0
15 You can't bring that dog in this bar
- |A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "Y...Read the whole joke
304 Rating:0 | Voted:0
16 The customs of an Irishman
- |An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the ...Read the whole joke
322 Rating:0 | Voted:0
17 What causes people to have arthritis?
- |A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was st...Read the whole joke
411 Rating:0 | Voted:0
18 A bet made at the local bar
- |A man walks into a bar, and as he makes his way to the counter, he stops and talks to everyone in t...Read the whole joke
379 Rating:2 | Voted:0
19 He is a very fast drinker
- |A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll i...Read the whole joke
426 Rating:0 | Voted:4
20 I have a magical dancing duck
- |A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On t...Read the whole joke
417 Rating:0 | Voted:0
21 A neutron at a bar
- |A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says.The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How...Read the whole joke
492 Rating:0 | Voted:0
22 Reasons to allow drinking at work
- |The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, y...Read the whole joke
255 Rating:0 | Voted:0
23 Newly issued alcohol warnings
- |The Toronto Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip...Read the whole joke
340 Rating:0 | Voted:0
24 A nun arrives at the local bar
- |John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good ab...Read the whole joke
375 Rating:0 | Voted:0
25 Making a bet at a bar
- |Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed...Read the whole joke
415 Rating:0 | Voted:0
26 You looked a lot like my wife
- |A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the ...Read the whole joke
408 Rating:0 | Voted:0
27 I didn't get any money this time
- |A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, "...Read the whole joke
321 Rating:0 | Voted:0

# Title Category Hits Rating
1 I only ordered a double
- |I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double.The bartender brought out a guy who looked j...Read the whole joke
Bar Jokes 982 Rating:0 | Voted:0
2 The Beer Prayer
- |Our lager,Which art in barrels,Hollowed be thy drink.I will be drunk,At home as in the travern.Give...Read the whole joke
Bar Jokes 893 Rating:0 | Voted:0
3 I know you were drunk yesterday
- |A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at thre...Read the whole joke
Bar Jokes 891 Rating:6 | Voted:2
4 Someone stole things from me
- |A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, th...Read the whole joke
Bar Jokes 879 Rating:0 | Voted:0
5 My girlfriend is out in the car
- |A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being...Read the whole joke
Bar Jokes 874 Rating:4 | Voted:1

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