| # |
Title |
Hits |
Rating |
| 1 |
George Bernard Shaw
- |While at a concert being performed by a very bad orchestra, George Bernard Shaw was asked what he'd...Read the whole joke |
1763 |
 |
| 2 |
Orchestra jokes
- |Q: What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet?A: A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of...Read the whole joke |
2134 |
|
| 3 |
Operas that never made it
- |Britten: A Midsummer Nightmare.Mozart: The Magic Tuba.Puccini: La Bamba.Rossini: The Plumber of Sev...Read the whole joke |
2030 |
|
| 4 |
Arriving at Heaven
- |A soprano died and went to Heaven. St. Peter stopped her at the gate asking, "Well, how many false ...Read the whole joke |
1810 |
|
| 5 |
The amazing conductor
- |When a young hotshot conductor was making his debut at the Met, he showed the jaded and skeptical o...Read the whole joke |
1849 |
|
| 6 |
This must be heaven
- |So this trumpet player dies. When he reaches is everlasting reward, the guy in the robe says, "You'...Read the whole joke |
1871 |
|
| 7 |
Vocal jokes
- |Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door?A: He can't find the key and doesn't know w...Read the whole joke |
1806 |
|
| 8 |
Here is your punishment
- |"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant."You have, Your ...Read the whole joke |
1958 |
|
| 9 |
Contacting a friend
- |Two violinists make a pact that whoever dies first, he will contact the other and tell him what lif...Read the whole joke |
2049 |
|
| 10 |
The autograph book
- |Jacques Thibault, the violinist, was once handed an autograph book by a fan while in the greenroom ...Read the whole joke |
1813 |
|
| 11 |
Violin jokes
- |Q: How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?A: The bow is moving.Q: How do you make a violin sou...Read the whole joke |
1850 |
|
| 12 |
The insane conductor
- |A violist comes home late at night to discover fire trucks, police cars, and a smoking crater where...Read the whole joke |
1881 |
|
| 13 |
Make me a better musician
- |There once was a violist playing in the Winnipeg Symphony. He wasn't that wonderful a player, so he...Read the whole joke |
1816 |
|
| 14 |
Musicians on a sinking ship
- |A violist and a cellist were standing on a sinking ship together."Help!" cried the cellist, "I can'...Read the whole joke |
1994 |
|
| 15 |
Fight between the musicians
- |At a concert hall one night, the stage manager comes across an oboe player and a viola player havin...Read the whole joke |
1966 |
|
| 16 |
Viola jokes
- |Q: What is a chord?A: Three violists playing in unison.Q: What is the best recording of the Walton ...Read the whole joke |
1973 |
|
| 17 |
Tuba jokes
- |Q: What is the range of a tuba?A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm.Q: What's a tuba for?A: 1 1...Read the whole joke |
1806 |
|
| 18 |
Trumpet jokes
- |Q: How many lead trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?A: Fifty. One to do it and the...Read the whole joke |
2042 |
|
| 19 |
Trombone jokes
- |Q: How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn?A: Stick your hand in the bell and play lots...Read the whole joke |
2053 |
|
| 20 |
Saxophone jokes
- |Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?A: It's all in the grip.Q: What is the...Read the whole joke |
1823 |
|
| 21 |
That was no piccolo
- |Two musicians are walking down the street, and one says to the other, "Who was that piccolo I saw y...Read the whole joke |
1889 |
|
| 22 |
Piccolo joke
- |Q: How do you get 2 piccolos to play a perfect unison?A: Shoot one....Read the whole joke |
1750 |
|
| 23 |
Bach in a Minuet
- |A note left for a pianist from his wifeGone Chopin, (have Liszt), Bach in a Minuet...Read the whole joke |
1888 |
|
| 24 |
Piano jokes
- |Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?A: A flat minor.Q: What do you get if yo...Read the whole joke |
2005 |
|
| 25 |
Organ jokes
- |Q: Why are organists like a broken-winded cab horse?A: They are always longing for another stop.Q: ...Read the whole joke |
1845 |
|
| 26 |
Oboe jokes
- |Q: How do you get five oboes in tune?A: Shoot four of them.Q: What are burning oboes used for?A: To...Read the whole joke |
1965 |
|
| 27 |
Harpsichord jokes
- |The late Sir Thomas Beecham used to say the sound of the harpsichord is like "two skeletons making ...Read the whole joke |
1748 |
|