| # |
Title |
Hits |
Rating |
| 1 |
If Hewlett-Packard ran Christmas...
- |They would market the Reverse Polish Ornament, which is put in your attic on the weekend after Than...Read the whole joke |
2348 |
 |
| 2 |
If the NSA ran Christmas...
- |Your ornaments would have a secret trap door that only the NSA could access in case they needed to ...Read the whole joke |
879 |
|
| 3 |
If The Rand Corporation ran Christmas...
- |The ornaments would be large perfectly smooth and seamless black cubes. Christmas morning there wou...Read the whole joke |
959 |
|
| 4 |
If Fisher Price ran Christmas...
- |"Baby's First Ornament" would have a hand-crank that you turn to hang the thing on the tree....Read the whole joke |
964 |
|
| 5 |
If Dell ran Christmas...
- |Wait a minute? Isn't IBM running this Christmas..?...Read the whole joke |
945 |
|
| 6 |
If Silicon Graphics ran Christmas...
- |Ornaments would be priced slightly higher, but would hang on the tree remarkably quickly. Also the ...Read the whole joke |
2044 |
|
| 7 |
If Apple ran Christmas...
- |It would do everything the Microsoft ornaments do, but years earlier, and with a smaller mouse (not...Read the whole joke |
925 |
|
| 8 |
If Microsoft ran Christmas...
- |Each time you bought an ornament, you would have to buy a tree as well. You wouldn't have to take t...Read the whole joke |
873 |
|
| 9 |
If IBM ran Christmas...
- |They would want one big Santa, dressed in blue, where kids queue up for their present-processing. R...Read the whole joke |
868 |
|
| 10 |
Programming language acronyms
- |ADA: A Dumb ArrangementADA: A Dumb AcronymADA: A Dumb AnnoyanceBASIC: Boring And Shamelessly Idioti...Read the whole joke |
897 |
|
| 11 |
The Ten Commandments for C Programmers
- |1. Thou shalt run lint frequently and study its pronouncements with care, for verily its perception...Read the whole joke |
1028 |
|
| 12 |
New Microsoft Windows advertising slogans
- |At the time of writing, Microsoft's slogan for Windows 95 was "Where do you want to go today?" Thes...Read the whole joke |
1015 |
|
| 13 |
Architect programmer
- |If architects had to work like programmers . . .Dear Mr. Architect,Please design and build me a hou...Read the whole joke |
1097 |
|
| 14 |
Computer help stories
- |AUSTIN, Texas - The exasperated help-line caller said she couldn't get her new Dell computer to tur...Read the whole joke |
1019 |
|
| 15 |
Possible IBM acronyms
- |IBM: It's Being MendedIBM: Inmense Ball of MuckIBM: I Believe in MemorexIBM: It's Better than Macin...Read the whole joke |
945 |
|
| 16 |
Emacs acronyms
- |EMACS: Escape-Meta-Alt-Control-ShiftEMACS: Eight Megabytes And Constantly SwappingEMACS: Even a Mas...Read the whole joke |
984 |
|
| 17 |
Twas the night before crisis
- |Twas the night before crisis,And all through the house,Not a program was working,Not even a browse....Read the whole joke |
897 |
|
| 18 |
How to shoot yourself in the foot
- |Assembler: You shoot yourself in the foot.Ada: The Department of Defense shoots you in the foot aft...Read the whole joke |
888 |
|
| 19 |
Hacker syndrome
- |There is some compelling force in all Hackers that seems to draw them to their computers every day....Read the whole joke |
897 |
|
| 20 |
Girlfriend 1.0 software
- |Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus1.0 (marketing name: Fiancee1.0)....Read the whole joke |
1005 |
|
| 21 |
Software development cycle
- |1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found. 3. Pro...Read the whole joke |
918 |
|
| 22 |
Confusion about Y2K
- |Dear Boss,I hope I haven't misunderstood your instructions. Because to be honest, boss, none of thi...Read the whole joke |
919 |
|
| 23 |
Great news for Bill Gates
- |Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin, and Bill Gates were called in by God. God informed them that he was ve...Read the whole joke |
1070 |
|
| 24 |
Husband 1.0
- |Last year a friend of mine upgraded from BoyFriend 1.0 to Husband 1.0 and found that it's a memory ...Read the whole joke |
983 |
|
| 25 |
Alice is in UNIX land
- |"Can you help me? asked Alice."No," said Negative. "I'm looking for a white consultant." Alice poin...Read the whole joke |
985 |
|
| 26 |
Car break trouble
- | Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They w...Read the whole joke |
864 |
|
| 27 |
why the television is better than the World Wide Web
- |10. It doesn't take minutes to build the picture when you change TV channels.9. When was the last t...Read the whole joke |
877 |
|
