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Computing Jokes

# Title Hits Rating
1 If Hewlett-Packard ran Christmas...
- |They would market the Reverse Polish Ornament, which is put in your attic on the weekend after Than...Read the whole joke
1160 Rating:0 | Voted:1
2 If the NSA ran Christmas...
- |Your ornaments would have a secret trap door that only the NSA could access in case they needed to ...Read the whole joke
267 Rating:0 | Voted:0
3 If The Rand Corporation ran Christmas...
- |The ornaments would be large perfectly smooth and seamless black cubes. Christmas morning there wou...Read the whole joke
223 Rating:0 | Voted:0
4 If Fisher Price ran Christmas...
- |"Baby's First Ornament" would have a hand-crank that you turn to hang the thing on the tree....Read the whole joke
373 Rating:0 | Voted:0
5 If Dell ran Christmas...
- |Wait a minute? Isn't IBM running this Christmas..?...Read the whole joke
360 Rating:0 | Voted:0
6 If Silicon Graphics ran Christmas...
- |Ornaments would be priced slightly higher, but would hang on the tree remarkably quickly. Also the ...Read the whole joke
839 Rating:0 | Voted:0
7 If Apple ran Christmas...
- |It would do everything the Microsoft ornaments do, but years earlier, and with a smaller mouse (not...Read the whole joke
307 Rating:0 | Voted:0
8 If Microsoft ran Christmas...
- |Each time you bought an ornament, you would have to buy a tree as well. You wouldn't have to take t...Read the whole joke
286 Rating:0 | Voted:0
9 If IBM ran Christmas...
- |They would want one big Santa, dressed in blue, where kids queue up for their present-processing. R...Read the whole joke
276 Rating:0 | Voted:0
10 Programming language acronyms
- |ADA: A Dumb ArrangementADA: A Dumb AcronymADA: A Dumb AnnoyanceBASIC: Boring And Shamelessly Idioti...Read the whole joke
322 Rating:0 | Voted:0
11 The Ten Commandments for C Programmers
- |1. Thou shalt run lint frequently and study its pronouncements with care, for verily its perception...Read the whole joke
430 Rating:0 | Voted:0
12 New Microsoft Windows advertising slogans
- |At the time of writing, Microsoft's slogan for Windows 95 was "Where do you want to go today?" Thes...Read the whole joke
382 Rating:0 | Voted:0
13 Architect programmer
- |If architects had to work like programmers . . .Dear Mr. Architect,Please design and build me a hou...Read the whole joke
337 Rating:0 | Voted:0
14 Computer help stories
- |AUSTIN, Texas - The exasperated help-line caller said she couldn't get her new Dell computer to tur...Read the whole joke
253 Rating:0 | Voted:0
15 Possible IBM acronyms
- |IBM: It's Being MendedIBM: Inmense Ball of MuckIBM: I Believe in MemorexIBM: It's Better than Macin...Read the whole joke
336 Rating:0 | Voted:0
16 Emacs acronyms
- |EMACS: Escape-Meta-Alt-Control-ShiftEMACS: Eight Megabytes And Constantly SwappingEMACS: Even a Mas...Read the whole joke
259 Rating:0 | Voted:0
17 Twas the night before crisis
- |Twas the night before crisis,And all through the house,Not a program was working,Not even a browse....Read the whole joke
268 Rating:0 | Voted:0
18 How to shoot yourself in the foot
- |Assembler: You shoot yourself in the foot.Ada: The Department of Defense shoots you in the foot aft...Read the whole joke
312 Rating:0 | Voted:0
19 Hacker syndrome
- |There is some compelling force in all Hackers that seems to draw them to their computers every day....Read the whole joke
289 Rating:0 | Voted:0
20 Girlfriend 1.0 software
- |Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus1.0 (marketing name: Fiancee1.0)....Read the whole joke
340 Rating:0 | Voted:0
21 Software development cycle
- |1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found. 3. Pro...Read the whole joke
312 Rating:0 | Voted:0
22 Confusion about Y2K
- |Dear Boss,I hope I haven't misunderstood your instructions. Because to be honest, boss, none of thi...Read the whole joke
340 Rating:0 | Voted:0
23 Great news for Bill Gates
- |Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin, and Bill Gates were called in by God. God informed them that he was ve...Read the whole joke
470 Rating:0 | Voted:0
24 Husband 1.0
- |Last year a friend of mine upgraded from BoyFriend 1.0 to Husband 1.0 and found that it's a memory ...Read the whole joke
325 Rating:0 | Voted:0
25 Alice is in UNIX land
- |"Can you help me? asked Alice."No," said Negative. "I'm looking for a white consultant." Alice poin...Read the whole joke
255 Rating:0 | Voted:0
26 Car break trouble
- | Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They w...Read the whole joke
279 Rating:0 | Voted:0
27 why the television is better than the World Wide Web
- |10. It doesn't take minutes to build the picture when you change TV channels.9. When was the last t...Read the whole joke
274 Rating:0 | Voted:0

# Title Category Hits Rating
1 If Hewlett-Packard ran Christmas...
- |They would market the Reverse Polish Ornament, which is put in your attic on the weekend after Than...Read the whole joke
Computing Jokes 1160 Rating:1 | Voted:1
2 If Silicon Graphics ran Christmas...
- |Ornaments would be priced slightly higher, but would hang on the tree remarkably quickly. Also the ...Read the whole joke
Computing Jokes 839 Rating:0 | Voted:0
3 Microsoft Panhandler v1.0 (Beta)
- |Redmond, WA -- Microsoft Corporation chair, CEO and all-around babe magnet Bill Gates announced yes...Read the whole joke
Computing Jokes 824 Rating:0 | Voted:0
4 The computer prayer
- |Our Morning Prayer . . .Our Hard Drive Which art internal Volume C by name; Thy code be clean, Thy ...Read the whole joke
Computing Jokes 783 Rating:0 | Voted:0
5 Type what I tell you
- |While trying to diagnose a problem over the phone I told the user to type out his autoexec.bat file...Read the whole joke
Computing Jokes 752 Rating:0 | Voted:0

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