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Computing Jokes

# Title Hits Rating
1 I'm ignoring Y2K
- |Jack was a COBOL programmer in the mid to late 1990s. After years of being taken for granted and tr...Read the whole joke
321 Rating:0 | Voted:0
2 The programmer's cheer
- |Shift to the left, shift to the right!Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!...Read the whole joke
328 Rating:0 | Voted:0
3 Help stories from Tech Support
- |Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" because of the flood of calls asking whe...Read the whole joke
302 Rating:0 | Voted:0
4 The Windows Rejection Song
- |Why are there so many, users of Windows?Don't people have any pride?Windows is useless, and designe...Read the whole joke
315 Rating:0 | Voted:0
5 You have an Internet addiction when . . .
- |You kiss your girlfriend's home page.A VRML virtual walk through a park is your idea of a good date...Read the whole joke
374 Rating:0 | Voted:6
6 Fifty ways to be annoying in computer labs
- |1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found...Read the whole joke
408 Rating:0 | Voted:0
7 Top ten signs you bought a bad computer
- |10. Lower corner of screen has the words "Etch-a-sketch" on it.9. It's celebrity spokesman is that ...Read the whole joke
287 Rating:0 | Voted:0
8 If Dr. Seuss was a technical writer
- |What if Dr. Seuss was a technical writer? Here are several examples of what he may write to help yo...Read the whole joke
355 Rating:0 | Voted:0
9 Computer lingo guide
- |Log on - Adding a log to your wood stoveLog off - Don't add a log to your wood stoveMonitor - Keep ...Read the whole joke
287 Rating:0 | Voted:0
10 Solution to the Y2K problem
- |The government's system administration team, working with computer manufacturers and experts in the...Read the whole joke
335 Rating:0 | Voted:0
11 Operating systems as beers
- |DOS Beer -- Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefu...Read the whole joke
333 Rating:0 | Voted:0
12 Real software engineers eat quiche.
- |Real software engineers eat quiche. Real software engineers don't read dumps. They never generate t...Read the whole joke
349 Rating:0 | Voted:0
13 Airplanes running operating systems
- |Here are some basic descriptions of what may happen if airplanes had different operating systems ru...Read the whole joke
315 Rating:0 | Voted:0
14 Microsoft buys church
- |MICROSOFT Bids to Acquire Catholic ChurchVATICAN CITY (AP) -- In a joint press conference in St. Pe...Read the whole joke
270 Rating:0 | Voted:0
15 Bill Gates can choose his punishment
- |Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and sai...Read the whole joke
281 Rating:0 | Voted:0
16 Actual calls to technical support
- |Computer novices may feel like they're alone these days, but some of the following calls to IBM's h...Read the whole joke
415 Rating:0 | Voted:0
17 The computer user's reboot poem
- |Don't you wish when life is badand things just don't compute,That all we really had to dowas stop a...Read the whole joke
338 Rating:0 | Voted:0
18 Programmer's drinking song
- |99 little bugs in the code,99 bugs in the code,Fix one bug, compile it again,101 little bugs in the...Read the whole joke
354 Rating:0 | Voted:0
19 The top ten signs that someone is using your e-mail account
- |10. "Honey, why is an 18-wheeler from Amazon.com backing into our driveway?"9. One Secret Service a...Read the whole joke
298 Rating:0 | Voted:0
20 Real opcodes
- |AAC Alter All CommandsAAD Alter All DataAAO Add And OverflowAAR Alter At RandomAB Add BackwardsABC ...Read the whole joke
371 Rating:0 | Voted:0
21 If University of Waterloo ran Christmas...
- |They would immediately change the name to WatMas....Read the whole joke
374 Rating:0 | Voted:0
22 If Radio Shack ran Christmas...
- |he staff would sell you ornaments, but not know anything about them or what they were for. Or you c...Read the whole joke
297 Rating:0 | Voted:0
23 If Timex ran Christmas...
- |The holiday would be cheap, small, quartz-crystal driven, and would let you take a licking and keep...Read the whole joke
302 Rating:0 | Voted:0
24 If Thinking Machines ran Christmas...
- |You would be able to hang over 64,000 ornaments on your tree (all identical) at the same time....Read the whole joke
418 Rating:0 | Voted:0
25 If Cray ran Christmas...
- |The holiday season would cost $16 million but would be celebrated faster than any other holiday dur...Read the whole joke
319 Rating:0 | Voted:0
26 If the Franklin Mint ran Christmas...
- |Every month, you would receive another lovely hand-crafted item from an authentic Civil War pewter ...Read the whole joke
407 Rating:0 | Voted:0
27 If Sony ran Christmas...
- |Their Personal Xmas-ing Device, which would be barely larger than an ornament and flat, would allow...Read the whole joke
393 Rating:0 | Voted:0

# Title Category Hits Rating
1 If Hewlett-Packard ran Christmas...
- |They would market the Reverse Polish Ornament, which is put in your attic on the weekend after Than...Read the whole joke
Computing Jokes 1162 Rating:1 | Voted:1
2 If Silicon Graphics ran Christmas...
- |Ornaments would be priced slightly higher, but would hang on the tree remarkably quickly. Also the ...Read the whole joke
Computing Jokes 841 Rating:0 | Voted:0
3 Microsoft Panhandler v1.0 (Beta)
- |Redmond, WA -- Microsoft Corporation chair, CEO and all-around babe magnet Bill Gates announced yes...Read the whole joke
Computing Jokes 828 Rating:0 | Voted:0
4 The computer prayer
- |Our Morning Prayer . . .Our Hard Drive Which art internal Volume C by name; Thy code be clean, Thy ...Read the whole joke
Computing Jokes 785 Rating:0 | Voted:0
5 Type what I tell you
- |While trying to diagnose a problem over the phone I told the user to type out his autoexec.bat file...Read the whole joke
Computing Jokes 756 Rating:0 | Voted:0

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