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Lawyer Jokes

# Title Hits Rating
1 Can I take his place?
- |An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a ...Read the whole joke
644 Rating:0 | Voted:0
2 Free haircuts
- |A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barbe...Read the whole joke
577 Rating:0 | Voted:0
3 Did you make a donation?
- |At the United Way in a fairly small town a volunteer worker noticed that the most successful lawyer...Read the whole joke
675 Rating:0 | Voted:0
4 An honest lawyer
- |An independent woman started her own business. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming...Read the whole joke
560 Rating:0 | Voted:0
5 I just managed to settle an account!
- |A young attorney who had taken over his father?s practice rushed home elated one night."Dad, listen...Read the whole joke
616 Rating:0 | Voted:0
6 A love for material goods
- |A lawyer was driving his big BMW down the highway, singing to himself, "I love my BMW, I love my BM...Read the whole joke
791 Rating:0 | Voted:0
7 Lawyer's personal injury
- |A golfer hooked his tee shot over a hill and onto the next fairway. Walking toward his ball, he saw...Read the whole joke
610 Rating:0 | Voted:0
8 Brain transplant
- |"How can I ever thank you?" gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow, after he had solved her legal troubl...Read the whole joke
590 Rating:0 | Voted:0
9 Want to go into space?
- |NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go and couldn?t return to Ea...Read the whole joke
635 Rating:0 | Voted:0
10 Get money to heaven
- |A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong th...Read the whole joke
659 Rating:0 | Voted:0
11 Some last minute requests
- |A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, "Give it to me straight. How l...Read the whole joke
653 Rating:0 | Voted:0
12 You've changed my mind
- |Lawyer: "Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?"Client: "...Read the whole joke
754 Rating:0 | Voted:0
13 Replacing lab rats with lawyers
- |The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced last week that they were going to start using lawy...Read the whole joke
606 Rating:0 | Voted:0
14 Unreasonable bill
- |A client who felt his legal bill was too high asked his lawyer to itemize costs. The statement incl...Read the whole joke
712 Rating:0 | Voted:0
15 Here's your fee schedule
- |A lawyer calls his client to tell him about his fee schedule."Alright," the lawyer says looking thr...Read the whole joke
586 Rating:0 | Voted:0
16 There are no honest lawyers
- |A lawyer named Impos Syble was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stone...Read the whole joke
588 Rating:0 | Voted:0
17 What and who am I?
- |A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they co...Read the whole joke
621 Rating:0 | Voted:0
18 The bronze statues
- |A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the ...Read the whole joke
566 Rating:0 | Voted:0
19 The devil's offer
- |The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you, " th...Read the whole joke
749 Rating:0 | Voted:0
20 Lawyers give irrelevant information
- |Two women are on a transcontinental balloon voyage. Their craft is engulfed in fog, their compass g...Read the whole joke
629 Rating:0 | Voted:0
21 Lawyers take everything
- |A reporter outside of a courtroom asked a defendant clad only in a barrel: "Oh, I see your attorney...Read the whole joke
557 Rating:0 | Voted:0
22 Solving a dispute
- |Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest. The first one spied a nut and cried out, "Oh...Read the whole joke
704 Rating:0 | Voted:0
23 What type of tracks?
- |Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a couple of tracks. After close examination, the f...Read the whole joke
586 Rating:0 | Voted:0
24 Ounces of brain for sale
- |A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the ...Read the whole joke
702 Rating:0 | Voted:0
25 Excess billing hours
- |A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead ...Read the whole joke
575 Rating:0 | Voted:0
26 Rules for hunting lawyers
- |1. Any person with a valid Washington State hunting license may harvest attorneys.2. Taking of atto...Read the whole joke
612 Rating:0 | Voted:0
27 That's a real bargain
- |A Dublin lawyer died in poverty, and many people donated to a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief ...Read the whole joke
564 Rating:0 | Voted:0

# Title Category Hits Rating
1 Lawyers on a jury
- |A trial had been scheduled in a small town, but the court clerk had forgotten to call in a jury pan...Read the whole joke
Lawyer Jokes 1410 Rating:0 | Voted:0
2 Demise of a partner
- |One day while walking down the street a highly successful partner in a law firm was tragically hit ...Read the whole joke
Lawyer Jokes 1385 Rating:0 | Voted:0
3 Big ethical dilemma
- |Upon seeing an elderly lady for the drafting of her will, the attorney charged her $100.She gave hi...Read the whole joke
Lawyer Jokes 1381 Rating:0 | Voted:0
4 Talk to the judge
- |A judge, bored and frustrated by a lawyer's tedious arguments, had made numerous rulings to speed t...Read the whole joke
Lawyer Jokes 1358 Rating:0 | Voted:0
5 Fight to win a case
- |A junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far away country to represent a long-term client accus...Read the whole joke
Lawyer Jokes 1324 Rating:0 | Voted:0

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