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Abbott calling Costello
Category Computing Jokes
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The Joke

Costello calls Abbott with some questions about UNIX.Costello: What is the command that will tell me the revision code of a program?Abbott: Yes, that's correct.Costello: No, what is it?Abbott: Yes.Costello: So, which is the one?Abbott: No. 'which' is used to find the program.Costello: Stop this. Who are you?Abbott: Use 'who am i' not 'who r yoo'. You can also 'finger yoo' to get information about 'yoo'.Costello: All I want to know is what finds the revision code?Abbott: Use 'what'.Costello: That's what I am trying to find out. Isn't that true?Abbott: No. 'true' gives you 0.Costello: Which one?Abbott: 'true' gives you 0. 'which programname'Costello: Let's get back to my problem. What program? How do I find it?Abbott: Type 'find / -name it -print' to find 'it'. Type 'what program' to get the revision code.Costello: I want to find the revision code.Abbott: You can't 'find revisioncode', you must use 'what program'.Costello: Which command will do what I need?Abbott: No. 'which command' will find 'command'.Costello: I think I understand. Let me write that.Abbott: You can 'write that' only if 'that' is a user on your system.Costello: Write what?Abbott: No. 'write that'. 'what program'.Costello: Cut that out!Abbott: Yes. those are valid files for 'cut'. Don't forget the options.Costello: Do you always do this?Abbott: 'du' will give you disk usage.Costello: HELP!Abbott: 'help' is only used for Source Code Control System (SCCS).Costello: You make me angry.Abbott: No, I don't 'make me' angry but I did 'make programname' when I was upset once.Costello: I don't want to make trouble, so no more.Abbott: No 'more'? 'which' will help you find 'more'. Every system has 'more'.Costello: Nice help! I'm confused more now!Abbott: Understand that since 'help' is such a small program, it is better not to 'nice help'. and 'more now' is not allowed but 'at now' is. Unless of course 'now' is a file name.Costello: This is almost as confusing as my PC.Abbott: I didn't know you needed help with 'pc'. Let me get you to the Pascal compiler team.
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