Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?A: Shoot the lawyer twice.Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?A: A good start!Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?A: His lips are moving.Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?A: Professional courtesy.Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?A: Not enough sand.Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?A: To practice.A command was given to a dog: "SPEAK!"The dog said in return: "Not without my lawyer present!"Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlersQ: Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.?A: Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.Q: What?s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?A: The lawyer charges more.
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