The new Ensign was assigned to subs, where he'd dreamedof working since a young boy. He was trying to impressthe Master Chief with his expertise learned in Sub School.The Master Chief cut him off quickly and said, "Listen, 'sir',it's real simple. Add the number of times we dive to the number of times we surface. Divide that number by two.If the result doesn't come out even, don't open the hatch."