. . : The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided..., Funny Jokes : : .
. : : Menu : : .


The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided...
Category Situations
Total Hits 661
Rating Rating:0 | Voted:0 | voted : 0 times
1 Point 2 Point 3 Point 4 Point 5 Point 6 Point 7 Point 8 Point 9 Point 10 Point
The Joke
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon" Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale."Good morning, madam. I've come to....""Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in."Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good. I've made a speciality of babies""That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"After a moment, she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?""Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out!""Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me""Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But, if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results""My, that's a lot of....." gasped Mrs. Smith."Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure" "Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly.The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures."This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London""Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief."And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with""She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith."Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look""Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement."Yes," the photographer said, "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean squirrels actually chewed on your, um......equipment?""That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so we can get to work.""Tripod?????""Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold for very long. Madam? Madam? ....... Good Lord, she's fainted!!"
> Joke Categories:
Animal Jokes   Animal World   April Fools Jokes   At Work Jokes   Aviation Jokes   Bar Jokes   Blonde Jokes   Blonds Jokes   Business Jokes   Camping Jokes   Celebrities Jokes   Children Jokes   Christmas Jokes   Clean Jokes   Comedian Jokes   Common Jokes   Computer Jokes   Computers Jokes   Computing Jokes   Dirty Jokes   Doctor Jokes   Drunks Jokes   Dumb Jokes   Elderly Jokes   Elderly Jokes   Ethnic Jokes   Ethnical Jokes   Farming Jokes   Festival Jokes   Food Jokes   Foreigners   Free Jokes   Funny Jokes   Gender Jokes   Golf Jokes   Instrument Jokes   Irish Jokes   Job/Office Jokes   Kids Jokes   Language Jokes   Lawyer Jokes   Legal Jokes   Marriage Jokes   Medicine Jokes   Men Jokes   Men Jokes   Military Jokes   Miscellaneous   Mixed Jokes   Mom/Dad Jokes   Other Jokes   Ouch Jokes   Police Jokes   Political Jokes   Politics Jokes   Practical Jokes   Real Jokes   Red Indian Jokes   Redneck Jokes   Relationships Jokes   Religion Jokes   School Jokes   Science Jokes   More Jokes   Situations   Sport Jokes   Sports Jokes   Stats/Math Jokes   Travel Jokes   Travel Jokes   War Jokes   Women Jokes   Women Jokes   Yo Mama Jokes   Sex Jokes  

Render: 0.001 Sec ¦ By AhmBay