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Daylight Savings Time Reform
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The Joke
Immodest Proposal #1: Daylight Savings Time Reform Richard S. Holmes, RICH@suhep.phy.syr.edu It happens every spring: crocuses, baseball (with any luck), and the switch toDaylight Savings Time (DST).Coming off DST is not hard. In the Fall, we set our clocks back one hour. Weall get an extra hour to sleep, and those who forget find themselves at church,or the airport, or wherever an hour early. Embarassing, but not catastrophic.But in the Spring we set the clocks forward, and the trouble begins. We losean hour of sleep. Forgetful people miss Mass, planes, breakfast, and the biggame on TV. Some are thrown into disarray for up to a full week. Annuallosses due to DST confusion have been estimated (by me) at over a milliondollars. I myself have missed a flight to Washington and a showing of TheSeven Samurai because of DST.There is no need for such tragic waste. We can -- we should and must -- urgeour lawmakers to reform Daylight Savings Time as follows:Setting clocks back is easy; setting them forward is difficult. Therefore, letus keep the fall ritual as it is. However, one Sunday each Spring, let us setour clocks not one hour forward, but TWENTY-THREE HOURS BACKWARD.Think of all the advantages. We will not lose an hour of sleep; we will gain(almost) a day of rest. It will be Saturday all over again. You will neveragain miss Confession, or an airplane, or the Redskins game.Naturally, if this were the whole plan, our calendars would fall behind one dayin each year. However, the second part of the Revised DST Plan deals withthis. Every four years, instead of adding a day, let us SUBTRACT THREE DAYS.Furthermore, let these be Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, which according torecent polls are the least popular days.If done in February, which seems reasonable considering what a miserable monthit is, this would have the beneficial side effect of shortening theexcruciating presidential primary season by an effective four days.The advantages of this plan are clear. Let us waste no time. With a determinedeffort we can have Reformed Daylight Savings Time by Spring of next year.Write your congressperson today!
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