God Meets BureaucracyIn the beginning God Created heaven and the earth. Quickly he was facedwith a class action suit for failure to file an environmental impactstatement. He was granted a temporary permit for the project, but wasstymied with the Cease and Desist order for the earthly part. Appearing atthe hearing, God was asked why he began his earthly project in the firstplace. He replied that he just liked to be creative.Then God said, "Let there be light." Officials immediately demanded toknow how the light would be made. Would there be strip mining? What aboutthermal pollution? God explained that the light would come from a huge ballof fire. God was granted provisional permission to make light, assumingthat no smoke would result from the ball of fire, that he would obtain abuilding permit, and (to conserve energy) would have the light out half thetime. God agreed and said he would call the light "Day" and the darkness"Night." Officials replied that they were not interested in semantics.God said, "Let the earth bring forth green herb and such as manyseed."The EPA agreed so long as native seed was used. Then God said, "Let watersbring forth creeping creatures having life; and the fowl that may fly overthe earth." Officials pointed out this would require approval from theDepartment of Game coordinated with the Heavenly Wildlife Federation andthe Audubongelic Society.Everything was OK until God said he wanted to complete the project in sixdays. Officials informed him it would take at least 200 days to review theapplication and the environmental impact statement. After that there would be a public hearing. Then there would be 10-12 months before...At this point God created Hell.
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