. . : Who is on First?, Funny Jokes : : .
. : : Menu : : .


Who is on First?
Category Sport Jokes
Total Hits 700
Rating Rating:0 | Voted:0 | voted : 0 times
1 Point 2 Point 3 Point 4 Point 5 Point 6 Point 7 Point 8 Point 9 Point 10 Point
The Joke

Who's On First(Sketch by Bud Abbot and Lou Costello)LOU: I love baseball. When we get to St. Louis, will you tell me the guys' name on the team so when I go to see them in that St. Louis ball park I'll be able to know those fellows?BUD: All right. But you know, strange as it may seems, they give ball players nowadays very peculiar names, nick names, like "Dizzy Dean." Now on the St. Louis team we have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third --LOU: That's what I want to find out. I want you to tell me the names of the fellows on the St. Louis team.BUD: I'm telling you. Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third --LOU: You know the fellows' names?BUD: Yes.LOU: Well, then who's playin' first.BUD: YesLOU: I mean the fellow's name on first base.BUD: Who.LOU: The fellow playin' first base for St. Louis.BUD: Who.LOU: The guy on first base.BUD: Who is on first.LOU: Well, what are you askin' me for?BUD: I'm not asking you -- I'm telling you. WHO IS ON FIRST.LOU: I'm asking you -- who's on first?BUD: That's the man's name!LOU: That's who's name?BUD: Yes.LOU: Well, go ahead and tell me.BUD: Who.LOU: The guy on first.BUD: Who.LOU: The first baseman.BUD: Who is on first.LOU: Have you got a first baseman on first?BUD: Certainly.LOU: Then who's playing first?BUD: Absolutely.LOU: (pause) When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?BUD: Every dollar of it. And why not, the man's entitled to it.LOU: Who is?BUD: Yes.LOU: So who gets it?BUD: Why shouldn't he? Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.LOU: Who's wife?BUD: Yes. After all the man earns it.LOU: Who does?BUD: Absolutely.LOU: Well all I'm trying to find out is what's the guys name on first base.BUD: Oh, no, no, What is on second base.LOU: I'm not asking you who's on second.BUD: Who's on first.LOU: That's what I'm trying to find out.BUD: Well, don't change the players around.LOU: I'm not changing nobody.BUD: Now, take it easy.LOU: What's the guy's name on first base?BUD: What's the guy's name on second base.LOU: I'm not askin' ya who's on second.BUD: Who's on first.LOU: I don't know.BUD: He's on third. We're not talking about him.LOU: How could I get on third base?BUD: You mentioned his name.LOU: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?BUD: No, Who's playing first.LOU: Stay offa first, will ya?BUD: Well what do you want me to do?LOU: Now what's the guy's name on first base?BUD: What's on second.LOU: I'm not asking ya who's on second.BUD: Who's on first.LOU: I don't know.BUD: He's on third.LOU: There I go back on third again.BUD: Well, I can't change their names.LOU: Say, will you please stay on third base.BUD: Please. Now what is it you want to know.LOU: What is the fellow's name on third base.BUD: What is the fellow's name on second base.LOU: I'm not askin' ya who's on second.BUD: Who's on first.LOU: I don't know.BUD: THIRD BASE!LOU: You got an outfield?BUD: Oh, sure.LOU: St. Louis has got a good outfield?BUD: Oh, absolutely.LOU: The left fielder's name?BUD: Why.LOU: I don't know, I just thought I'd ask.BUD: Well, I just thought I'd tell you.LOU: Them tell me who's playing left field.BUD: Who's playing first.LOU: Stay out of the infield!BUD: Don't Don't mention any names out here.LOU: I want to know what's the fellow's name on left field?BUD: What is on second.LOU: I'm not askin' ya who's on second.BUD: Who is on first.LOU: I don't know.BUD & LOU: (together and calmly) Third base.LOU: And the left fielder's name?BUD: Why.LOU: Because.BUD: Oh he's Center Field.LOU: (whimpers) Center field.BUD: Yes.LOU: Wait a minute. You got a pitcher on this team.BUD: Wouldn't this be a fine team without a pitcher.LOU: I don't know. Tell me the pitcher's name.BUD: Tomorrow.LOU: You don't want to tell me today?BUD: I'm tell you, man.LOU: Then go ahead.BUD: Tomorrow.LOU: What time?BUD: What time what?LOU: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching?BUD: Now listen, Who is not pitching. Who is on --LOU: I'LL BREAK YOU ARM IF YOU SAY "WHO'S ON FIRST!"BUD: Then why come up here and ask?LOU: I want to know what's the pitcher's name.BUD: What's on second.LOU: I don't know.BUD & LOU: (VERY QUICKLY) THIRD BASE!LOU: You gotta Catcher?BUD: Yes.LOU: The Catcher's name?BUD: Today.LOU: Today. And Tomorrow's pitching.BUD: Now you've got it.LOU: That's all. St. Louis hat a couple of days on their team.BUD: Well I can't help that.LOU: You know I'm a good catcher too.BUD: I know that.LOU: I would like to play for the St. Louis team.BUD: Well I might arrange that.LOU: I would like to catch. Now I'm being a good Catcher, tomorrow's pitching on the team, and I'm catching.BUD: Yes.LOU: Tomorrow throws the ball and the guy up bunts the ball.BUD: Yes.LOU: Now when he bunts the ball -- me being a good catcher -- I want to throw the guy out a first base, so I pick up the ball and throw it to who?BUD: Now that's the first thing you've said right.LOU: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!!!!BUD: Well, that's all you have to do.LOU: is to throw it to first base.BUD: Yes.LOU: Now who's got it?BUD: Naturally.LOU: Who has it?BUD: Naturally.LOU: Naturally.BUD: Naturally.LOU: O.K.BUD: Now you've got it.LOU: I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.BUD: No you don't you throw the ball to first base.LOU: Then who gets it?BUD: Naturally.LOU: O.K.BUD: All right.LOU: I throw the ball to Naturally.BUD: You don't you throw it to Who.LOU: Naturally.BUD: Well, naturally. Say it that way.LOU: That's what I said.BUD: You did not.LOU: I said I'd throw the ball to Naturally.BUD: You don't. You throw it to Who.LOU: Naturally.BUD: Yes.LOU: So I throw the ball to first base and Naturally gets it.BUD: No. You throw the ball to first base--LOU: Then who gets it?BUD: Naturally.LOU: That's what I'm saying.BUD: You're not saying that.LOU: I throw the ball to Naturally.BUD: You throw it to Who!LOU: Naturally.BUD: Naturally. Well say it that way.LOU: THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!BUD: Now don't get excited.LOU: Whose gettin excited!! I throw the ball to first base--BUD: Then Who gets it.LOU: (annoyed) HE BETTER GET IT!BUD: That's it. All right now. Take it easy.LOU: Hrmmph.BUD: Hrmmph.LOU: Now I throw the ball to first base, whoever it is grabs the ball, so the guy runs to second.BUD: Uh-huh.LOU: Who picks up the ball and throws it to what. What throws it to I don't know. I don't know throws it back to tomorrow -- a triple play.BUD: Yeah. It could be.LOU: Another guy gets up and it's a long fly ball to center. Why? I don't know, he's on third, and I don't give a darn.BUD: What did you say.LOU: I said "I don't give a darn."BUD: Oh, that's our shortstop!LOU: ABBOTT!
> Joke Categories:
Animal Jokes   Animal World   April Fools Jokes   At Work Jokes   Aviation Jokes   Bar Jokes   Blonde Jokes   Blonds Jokes   Business Jokes   Camping Jokes   Celebrities Jokes   Children Jokes   Christmas Jokes   Clean Jokes   Comedian Jokes   Common Jokes   Computer Jokes   Computers Jokes   Computing Jokes   Dirty Jokes   Doctor Jokes   Drunks Jokes   Dumb Jokes   Elderly Jokes   Elderly Jokes   Ethnic Jokes   Ethnical Jokes   Farming Jokes   Festival Jokes   Food Jokes   Foreigners   Free Jokes   Funny Jokes   Gender Jokes   Golf Jokes   Instrument Jokes   Irish Jokes   Job/Office Jokes   Kids Jokes   Language Jokes   Lawyer Jokes   Legal Jokes   Marriage Jokes   Medicine Jokes   Men Jokes   Men Jokes   Military Jokes   Miscellaneous   Mixed Jokes   Mom/Dad Jokes   Other Jokes   Ouch Jokes   Police Jokes   Political Jokes   Politics Jokes   Practical Jokes   Real Jokes   Red Indian Jokes   Redneck Jokes   Relationships Jokes   Religion Jokes   School Jokes   Science Jokes   More Jokes   Situations   Sport Jokes   Sports Jokes   Stats/Math Jokes   Travel Jokes   Travel Jokes   War Jokes   Women Jokes   Women Jokes   Yo Mama Jokes   Sex Jokes  

Render: 0.001 Sec ¦ By AhmBay