What did the footballer say when he accidentally burped during a game?Sorry, it was a freak hic! Why are football grounds odd?Because you can sit in the stands but can't stand in the sits! What do you get if you drop a piano on a team's defence?A flat back four! Why did the goal post get angry?Because the bar was rattled! What is the bank manager's favourite type of football?Fiver side! What part of a football ground is never the same?The changing rooms! What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded?Bring on their subs!